I miss you dear sister – tonight I’ve never felt so all alone

Saw a Daily Prompt  for people who like to write.  Challenge was to take the 3rd line from a song you last heard, and write for 15 minutes – going for speed, nothing else.

Sounds like fun,! The last song I remember listening to was Dear Sister, by Claire Lynch, so after learning what the 3rd line was I began:

“I miss you dear sister – tonight I’ve never felt so all alone.” I don’t know why you had to go away from here the way you did. Can’t you know how much you’ve meant to me all this time?  Just because you are so much older than I am, doesn’t give you the right to just forget about me!  It’s just like they say: when you are young you look up to the older ones, they’re cooler.  Remember high school?  No one took notice of the niners if you were in Gr. 10!  I’m perpetually a niner in your life…so far behind…Tonight, is different you know, I’ve got news, and the only person that it could possibly interest is you.  But I don’t know where to find you.  How to reach you.  Seventeen years difference made you so much different than I.  You grew through the fifties, were a teen, who was a teenaged mother by 17.  I was born two months before your first child.  We were the true siblings, not you and I.  I played, watched, and was impressed by the sixties, and a teen in the 70’s.  Still, there is nothing like a sister in my mind.  In my mind…that’s where our relationship has been for all this time.  Such a generation gap we have, fueled by the fact that I am the age of your first born, who is also now deceased. Damn it.  I couldn’t even talk to you about that, and I don’t know if I’ll ever truly understand that, but I have learned to let go of the pain that I felt over that.  I felt forgotton.  By you.  I feel selfish about it, because truly there is nothing worse I can imagine than losing your child, no matter the age.  I grieved for him too.  I grieved, and wanted to share my love for him with you.  I grieved and got mixed up in the business of his left behind teenaged son, the age of my eldest.  I felt I owed it to my ‘brother’, your son, to care about that boy.  You felt differently, and another wedge was placed between us.  I learned to stay out of it, after a while, said my apologies, and got wiser.  I haven’t been very strong about accepting that others process pain differently than I do.  I have been critical and judgemental of differences between myself and my sibs.  Why did I think we would all be so alike?  I guess I wanted to feel we were, that we were close?  Over his death, I thought I could help you.  You did not ask me for any.  You did not want to talk.  Once you said…I just like to keep things simple.  Okay, I got it.  No analysis, no deep stuff, no spirituality talk.  Damn it.  But I accept it.  I love you.  You are far away, and I know that you love me, and you know that I love you.  Always will.  You are my sister, not another mother figure.  Never thought of you as one by the way, nor our sister M, despite what she says!  Nope it was weird though, being able to empathize with your children…when they did or would confide in me.  We didn’t get many chances with the miles between us.  With the miles, seemed to go lack of contact…strange now.  But you are not a big communicator, and you have no interest in FB.

Times UP!

Well that was fun!  Kind of sad but true.

Great song and band!

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